You would think that one could learn a lesson once and be done with it. That the advanced processing capabilities of the human mind could wrap itself around a concept, apply it, and never have to consider it again. But it doesn’t work that way does it? We hit the same wall over and over again and then once we taste success we promptly forget it and go right back to banging our head against the wall.
Long story short? I’m figuring out how to live without perfectionism in my life.
And it’s hard.
It’s not hard not to be perfect…I already do that quite well. It’s just hard to realize when enough is enough.
Point and case?
I shot these photos months ago and never shared this recipe with you because I wasn’t happy with them.
The bread pudding was too thin, the strawberries weren’t just right, the whipped cream melted because the pan was hot and everyone wanted to eat it.
So I ignored them and moved on to new projects.
And then I read Shauna’s post (fyi, some adult language).
And I realized she’s so right.
I’m so sick of trying to live to unrealistic standards. I’m so tired of holding myself to some level of superhumaness that no on else expects from me. And mostly I’m so tired of hating myself when I fall short.
Because lets face it…most days I do fall short of these unrealistic expectations. The house is in a state of organized chaos, the chores are all half done, one kid or the other is upset about something and the dog has most likely run away to go swim in the pond. My work here is more sporadic than I would like and I let important things slip through the cracks sometimes.
But you know what? Nobody has died so far. The world didn’t end.
It’s not possible to keep everything in your life perfect.
Does this give me reason to let everything go and stop trying? Absolutely not.
I thrive on waking up and greeting a new day determined to give it my best.
Because at the same time I’m learning to let go of the perfectionism, I’m also learning how to push myself harder to success and how to really relax.
I want to be more disciplined and motivated. I love pushing towards a goal with a singular purpose in mind for an area of my life. I love setting the bar high and trying for it. I love overcoming.
But I don’t love beating myself up when I don’t quite make it in every area of my life. And I don’t love never truly letting go of my work and really, deeply relaxing and enjoying my family.
So I’m gonna keep running this race, but I’m trying my best to learn how to pat myself on the back, shoot the photos and enjoy the efforts of my labor with my family…..melted whipped cream and all.
- 2 loaves of bread (brioche or challah work great) *standard bread loaf pan size
- ½ stick of butter (melted)
- 4 cups milk
- 4-5 eggs (add more if you like your bread pudding more eggy)
- 1½ cups sugar
- 3 T quick cooking tapioca
- ¼ t salt
- ¼ t nutmeg
- 1 pound rhubarb, cut in ½ inch pieces (about 3 cups)
- 1 cup sliced fresh strawberries
- 1 T butter
- Whipped cream or ice cream
- Cube the bread loaves. Place in large mixing bowl.
- Mix butter, milk, and eggs together.
- Pour over bread mixture. Mix well making sure all milk is absorbed. If the bread still looks dry increase your milk/egg/butter combination until the bread is all moistened. Pressing into milk with hands together lightly can help in absorption.
- Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.
- Combine sugar, tapioca, salt and nutmeg. Add rhubarb and strawberries; mix to coat fruit. Let stand about 20 minutes. Turn onto baked crust. Dot with butter.
- Increase heat to 400 degrees and cook until bubbly and all tapioca is well absorbed. About 30 minutes.
- Let set til cooled and serve with whipped cream or ice cream.