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How-To-Overcome-Perfectionism

I‘ve written this post 1,000 times in my mind. Turned it over and over. Toyed with it. Picked it up and set it back down.

Not right. 

The site redesign isn’t finished, don’t want to make people come visit and see all the flaws. 

Been away for too long to just post any old thing. 

It’s not good enough.

Who the hell am I again? 

What the hell am I actually doing? 

I’ve asked myself the last two questions with an obsessive bone grinding repetitiveness the past five months. When I wake up it starts. Any moment of down time. And then gnawing against my insides as I move through the evening. Only sleep has brought relief from it’s prodding unanswered tension.

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  • April 24, 2015 - 10:02 AM

    Marly - It’s so interesting that you published this post because I’ve been thinking about this lately. I think it’s because I came to the same conclusion about myself recently. I’m a perfectionist. And not the healthy “do it till it’s perfect” perfectionist. I think that would have clued me in a little sooner if that was the case. You know? If everything around the house was perfect or if I spent hours on hours on minute things to make them perfect happened, then I would KNOW I was a perfectionist. I think I’m the sneaking kind of perfectionist. The kind who doesn’t DO certain things because she wants to do it perfectly or not at all. Or the kind of stays in her comfort zone too much because she’s afraid of trying something and not being good, great or perfect at it. The kind who wants a perfect house and sometimes doesn’t even put the laundry away because it’s just going to get messy again anyway. Should I go on? I could, but maybe we can just leave it at that. :) Anyway, thanks for this post. I love it. Just exactly what I needed to read today!ReplyCancel

    • April 24, 2015 - 10:30 AM

      Dani Meyer - Yes Marly! It’s a sneaky thing isn’t it? So glad to know there are others who get it.

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 23, 2015 - 6:16 PM

    Diane Dunn - When you risk being transparent in your writing, it is always incredibly beautiful stirring the heart strings of many.
    Remember to be gentle on yourself! You are loved. You are just a girl, incredible for sure, but just a girl.ReplyCancel

  • April 23, 2015 - 5:39 PM

    Erica - Dani,

    This is great! And so wonderful for you to post! I struggle with the same things! I ran away to Alaska to bartend a few years ago when I had the crushing realization I couldn’t be perfect or the best. And I really started to accept my imperfect, messy, ridiculous self. It totally is cyclical and is always worse in winter for me. Then I get to a point where I accept it too much and have to listen to the voice that says, you don’t love a messy house. So I pick one thing that day to clean. But no guilt if i don’t do the next thing for a few more days. Lately I’ve found I just celebrate the little things I did do, and when I’m paralyzed and can’t get out of bed or off the couch, I just ask, what do you actually want? What is going to feel better in the end?

    This is great timing, because I am definitely working with this every day. I want to apply for grad school, but i just froze myself because my inner perfectionist was saying, “What if this isn’t the right degree, or the right school, or the right time? What if you are too rusty and don’t get a 4.0?” But I can’t know any of that! I’ve just got to do it.

    Thank you!!ReplyCancel

  • April 23, 2015 - 3:57 PM

    Carolyn - Wow, Dani. Just wow. Having met you, I wouldn’t think you would feel self-hate. You are so lovely and friendly and sweet. THAT is what you have to accept. One thing I realized long ago was to judge my self-worth by the people who love me. I would often look around and think “you are so awesome and you like ME when I am not nearly so awesome?”. And then it hit…I had to have a bit of that awesomeness if someone I liked that much liked me back. If that makes ANY sense at all.

    And I like you and I am at least a little bit awesome, which I only know because some pretty awesome people like me back. So that means you are a little bit awesome (or pretty freakin’ awesome!) too. :)

    And we should get together sometime and bask in our awesomeness, fellow Oregonian.ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 4:06 PM

      Dani Meyer - Aww thanks Carolyn. And I love your way of thinking!

      Absolutely on hanging out soon! Let’s make some plans at Indulge :)

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 23, 2015 - 12:41 AM

    pattiemelt - Thank you! I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am a perfectionist for the past 10 years. But I have never read anything that hits home so hard.

    I am working on letting go – now I have some direction to my journey, thanks to you.ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:20 PM

      Dani Meyer - Thank you so much for your comment Pattie. I am so glad that you are here and that this was meaningful to you. We are all in this together and I’m thrilled that you are moving forward.

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 7:14 PM

    Bridget Bolcik - Awesome insights!, but most of all I am so happy for your breakthrough and peace!!ReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 6:54 PM

    Brianne @ Cupcakes & Kale Chips - It is so brave of you to put this out there. As a fellow perfectionist who sometimes (often) gets paralyzed by perfectionism, I know where you are coming from. Some days I just want to throw in the towel because I feel like I’m not as good as other bloggers and not good enough for my own expectations. I might need to check out that book!ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:22 PM

      Dani Meyer - Thank you for your sweet comment Brianne. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one who can identify with this. It’s a very very good book and I reread it or parts of it when I’m struggling.

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 6:03 PM

    Anna - Words can’t begin to describe how much I needed/got from this. Thank you so much.ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:23 PM

      Dani Meyer - Oh Anna girl. Love you! Grateful that you are in my life <3ReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 4:07 PM

    Rose - Dani – I’m so glad we have connected on-line. In the little bits I have gotten to know you I feel like we are moving step for step through our current life season. I identified with so many parts of this post I feel like you are telling my story too. In fact, I think you are telling many women’s stories. Thank you for your honesty.

    I especially loved your command to truly enjoy the things you enjoy. Licking the spoon is indeed one of life’s greatest pleasures and it should always be done with joy.

    -RoseReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:24 PM

      Dani Meyer - Rose I’m so glad too! I just love how we have been able to connect and support each other. This is a trying season managing it all and growing but one I wouldn’t change for anything.

      So glad you are here.

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 2:49 PM

    Aly ~ Cooking In Stilettos - Dani – you are amazing and I thank you for sharing this today! I have that nasty procrastination monster/perfectionist/controlfreak/workaholic tendency and lately it’s been paralyzing. Reading this brought some things to the forefront that I need to work on, including a project I have not launched because it’s “not perfect” and this might be the stiletto kick I need. Thank you again!ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:25 PM

      Dani Meyer - You are amazing too Aly! Thank you so much for your comment and I can’t wait to see your new project!

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 2:39 PM

    nicole carner - Beautifully said and elequontly necessary. So many, many, MANY people need this one. Your blog is always helpful, but I think this post more so than any other! Thank you for having the courage to use your gifts Dani.ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:27 PM

      Dani Meyer - Thank you so much for taking the time to comment Nicole, it means the world to me. It’s hard to talk about the hard things but I am so grateful and overwhelmed with everyone’s kindness and grateful it is helping others.

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 2:36 PM

    Phi @ The Sweetphi Blog - Lovely post! I can totally relate to letting the perfectionism and self hate beast roar its ugly little head, especially in this blogging world, so I loved how you put this all together and how you shared strategies to overcoming it. All around lovely :)ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:29 PM

      Dani Meyer - Thank you so much for commenting Phi! Love you girl!

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 1:52 PM

    Angie | Big Bear's Wife - I totally love this. I just wrote a post about trying to work on loving me. It’s freakin hard sometimes but I’m trying. I love this part, “Accepting yourself where you are does not mean that you can’t grow and improve. It means to not only be content. Here. Now. But to love and embrace the here and now in all its messiness.” — HUGS! I needed to read this today and be reminded again. <3ReplyCancel

    • April 23, 2015 - 3:30 PM

      Dani Meyer - HUGS! Thank you so much Angie, I am grateful to have you and all the amazing women we blog alongside as my friends in this journey.

      <3 DaniReplyCancel

  • April 22, 2015 - 1:48 PM

    Suelynn Jacobus - Amen! Great post Dani!ReplyCancel

This easy spicy noodle recipe is my quick and easy real food alternative to those instant spicy noodle packages. Delicious. Addictive. You’ve been warned.

easy-spicy-noodle-soup-recipe

I can’t begin to tell you how much goodness is in this bowl. When we moved to Georgia one of the first events we went to was a potluck at the church. We sampled through everything and stumbled upon a pot of curry that blew our minds. We immediately began asking around to find out who had made it and met our good friend Shireen. View full post »

These healthy chocolate crepes are made with whole wheat flour (spelt flour) and honey. They are kid approved and perfect for special occasions!

These blender crepes are made healthy with whole wheat flour (spelt flour) and honey. They are kid approved and perfect for special occasions!

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  • March 12, 2015 - 12:29 PM

    swathi - Delicious chocolate crepes, I like that we can make it in blender.ReplyCancel

  • March 5, 2015 - 10:43 AM

    Linda Connell - This Blender and the recipes on this site look fantastic!ReplyCancel

  • February 23, 2015 - 12:16 PM

    Emily @ Life on Food - I need a new blender badly.ReplyCancel

  • February 23, 2015 - 11:10 AM

    Lisa Button - I fell in love with this product when I saw the demo at costco!ReplyCancel

  • February 23, 2015 - 10:26 AM

    Susan - Can’t wait to try this recipe! A new Blendtec blender would be perfect for the job.ReplyCancel

  • February 23, 2015 - 10:12 AM

    Soumiya - great recipie for crepes- yummy and healthy!! Hope to win this blender and try this recipieReplyCancel

  • February 23, 2015 - 10:00 AM

    Katelyn - I would love to win this!!ReplyCancel

  • February 22, 2015 - 3:37 PM

    Dee Fedor - Nice giveaway, but form will not open on my phone. Can’t enterReplyCancel

  • February 22, 2015 - 3:03 PM

    Starla Jimenez - Oh this looks so yummy! Using a Blendtec blender makes it look so easy to! I hope I win! Thank you for a chance.ReplyCancel

  • February 22, 2015 - 2:02 PM

    Michelle Tucker - Thanks for the chance to win this awesome blender. I’ve been wanting one for so long now. Hoping that this will be my lucky day. :)ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 8:18 PM

    Kim M. - Awesome recipe and looks like a great blender.ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 7:18 PM

    Julian Quintana - Looks awesome! Been itching for a new blender too!ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 3:11 PM

    Aly ~ Cooking In Stilettos - These crepes look divine Dani!ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 3:08 PM

    misty burks - I would love this to try my soups and cashew milk out with this. Awesome crepe recipe….ThanksReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 1:49 PM

    Madeleine Dewan - Nice pictures! You sold me!ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 11:26 AM

    Marge - Great recipe…and thanks for the chance to win the blender.ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 10:54 AM

    luis - Great recipes and blender !!!!!ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 9:39 AM

    Ruksana M - Thanks for the awesome giveway!!! Loved the recipe. It sounds so yummy. The name itself makes it a must try “Healthy Chocolate Crepes”ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 9:38 AM

    gail goffen - This looks scrumptious! I just signed up for the kefir challenge, too. So glad I found your site!ReplyCancel

  • February 19, 2015 - 9:31 AM

    Sandra Watts - I signed up for the challenge. I will try it.ReplyCancel

  • February 18, 2015 - 6:42 PM

    Valerie | From Valerie's Kitchen - These look wonderful! Love the chocolate/strawberry combo :)ReplyCancel

  • February 18, 2015 - 4:35 PM

    Barbara - the crepes look delicious, I am. always looking for something new and healthy to try on my husband .These would be great for breakfast or for a tasty dessert. I have never made crepes,but your easy to read recipe is beckoning for me to give it a try. Wish me luck!ReplyCancel

  • February 18, 2015 - 3:40 PM

    Betsy @ Desserts Required - I wish I may, I wish I might, wish the wish I wish tonight…for a Blendtec blender!! Great post for a delicious recipe.ReplyCancel

  • February 18, 2015 - 12:47 PM

    Ayngelina - Just entered and I’d love to win so I can make something as delicious as these crepes.ReplyCancel

Champagne and pomegranate juice make the perfect easy drink recipe for Valentine’s Day! Great for New Years, Mothers Day, baby showers and parties too!

Champagne and pomegranate juice make the perfect easy drink recipe for Valentine

I’m a sucker for a good cocktail. But a lot of them, especially the really pretty ones are filled with food colorings I don’t want to put in my body. When I learned about Pomosa’s recently I couldn’t wait to give it a try!

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Nothing is more special than a homemade gift and Valentine’s Day is no exception! Whip up one of these 3 great ideas for someone you love this year.

3 DIY Valentines Day Presents

We show you how to whip up a homemade Strawberry and Raspberry sauce (perfect for desserts!), a DIY Spice Blend, and a delicious chunky Sweet N Spicy Hot Sauce.

Head on over to our post on KitchenAid’s blog HERE to score all the recipes!

Happy Valentine’s Day!